She said the M word

I know I've been neglecting you all lately. Sorry about that. I still need to fill you in on what's been happening over here, but instead, let me use today to address something that several people have mentioned lately. Deep breath.....



Okay...in case you didn't know...I had two miscarriages last year. I have a separate blog that I started back then that I didn't share with anyone. I linked it here, but don't visit unless you are seriously prepared to hear to the gory details. Also, it is VERY personal, as personal as personal gets. I can't even believe some of the things that I shared on there, so A) don't be offended, B) don't be a jerk. My husband "knows some people who know some people who robbed some people." So, don't mess with me.

Another round of friend pregnancies. They seem to come in waves. Friends: please know that I AM happy for you. I am also a tad jealous, but that does not mean that I hate you, nor does it mean that you can not talk about your baby in my presence. A few months ago, that would have been the case, but I'm better now, really. :)

It is pretty crazy to think that if we hadn't suffered the first miscarriage, we would have a newborn baby in our house now. That is really hard for me to imagine.

I'm struggling a little with the future of Shareapy. At first, it was just for me, then it was also for strangers who needed to know they weren't alone. That part of my life was something I didn't talk about except in the company of close friends and family, but why? Because I didn't want to make people uncomfortable. No one wants to hear about my dead babies. AWKward....

It is very strange to think that someone who hasn't had a miscarriage and doesn't even know me might read that site. It feels like that dream I have where I forget that I haven't shaved my legs in months, but I go walking around in shorts and everyone is laughing at me, but I don't realize it until I've been out for hours.



We are such a voyeuristic society that we like to watch other people's pain up close. Does it make us feel more human to connect to someone's misery? Or does it make us feel better about our own lives? Either way, I engage in it, too. It is the reason I watch reality TV and read other people's blogs. It is just very surreal for me to be on the other side of the looking glass. I've given everyone in school the key to my diary...why would I do that?! I guess I just want everyone to have some insight. Maybe if we talk about miscarriages more openly, the women who experience them won't have to live dual lives--smiling and laughing while they die inside. And,
I think it will be a relief that I can talk how this still affects me now.


Here's the deal...the secret is out now. I had two miscarriages. It is a part of who I am. It doesn't mean that I want to bring it up in everyday conversation, but I'm not so fragile anymore that I will burst into tears if it does come up.

I'm not going to go into detail, but let me just clear up one thing right now: Miscarriages are a big deal. A HUGE, GIANT, ELEPHANT-SIZED deal. It feels like you lost everything. That might not make sense to someone who has never experienced it, but just take my word for it. I remember what went through my head before I had one. It was something like, "Oh, that sucks. But, they can try again." Oh, dear Lord. Just imagine...every single day, this person will wake up and remember that they were supposed to be pregnant today. Every day takes them closer to a due date that won't come. It is a DAILY struggle.

If you know someone who's had a miscarriage, you are probably wondering what to say to them. Feel free to email me and I can give you some pointers.

What I found especially difficult is that there weren't a lot of resources immediately available to help me. I didn't know what to expect physically or emotionally. I had to do a lot of research on my own, which just made me feel even more alone. Hopefully, other doctors provide more support than mine did.

With a miscarriage, there is no one else to feel your pain, except your spouse. While your husband is equally devastated, even he didn't have the physical connection to the baby that you did. The memories are all in your head. They are just visions you created of the love you'd share with your future child. No one can share in your pain because they didn't know your child.

Anyway, my whole point is that I think I will keep Shareapy a separate site because the ladies that need support right now don't want to hear about the necklace I bought last week or some hilarious website or Anna's latest revelation. When they get to a place that they can laugh and smile again, they are welcome with open arms over here at CFB. Meanwhile, all my lovely CFB readers may, once in awhile, hear about how I'm feeling in regard to my miscarriages, because that is as much a part of me as the fact that I can't go two days without gushing over Twilight. Twilight, Twilight, Twilight! I love Twilight!

It's 3 am....I must be sleepy

A certain someone has developed a nasty habit of waking up at ridiculous hours and climbing into bed with us. Not mentioning any names...(cough) Condoleezza Rice (cough).
I have a tight sleep schedule that needs to be kept...10 pm-ish: Go to bed. 7 am-ish: Wake up. Anything in the middle completely derails the rest.

BTW... I'm posting this from my iPhone, so if a sentence doesn't make sense, it is because auto-text turned it into words that were not intended. “Rah” turns into “ran”, “Send help now!” Becomes "I love hobos!". That sort of thing.

ANYway...some of my twitters on Thursday sounded kind of CRAzee. I had just found out that the job I thought I had didn't go through and I kind of flipped out a little. Sorry. Things seem a tad out of control lately and I am just thankful, once again for my meds, which auto-text wants to turn into "mess." That SO would not make sense in that context, silly AT.

So, had some laughs with the girls at Bunko last night and then spent a glorious g'day (I'll let that AT slide b/c it is funny) with my man, who said that I didn't have to look for a job today, but could instead help him organize the office. So we crossed a couple things off our list and it felt good.

Which brings me to today's lesson. I spoke with a couple of ladies this week who, like myself, were struggling with a long To-Do list. It seems exacerbated by the fact that we are home more. When there is always tomorrow, how do you make yourself do it today? Answer: a support system helps and I don't mean the 18-hour bra. Someone needs to kick you in the butt and turn off the TV/computer or roll you out of bed and help you tackle that list one stupid thing at a time. It helps if it is to the tune of "That's Not My Name.". Great getting shot done jam. What?! AT won't let me curse?! That's bullshit. Wait, that worked.

I should wrap this up before my battery dies. I would sincerely like to thank everyone for the phone calls, urgent texts, emails and FB messages regarding a post earlier this week. In case you hadn't noticed, I'm a tad dramatic. "Family crisis" is code for "I'm on the verge and loosing my grip." No one died or has a terminal illness. We had a delicate situation that freaked us out and I'm still trying to figure out to phrase it so that you can gain knowledge without compromising someone's privacy. Basically, someone let us down big time.

Okay, I need to go remove my mascara from 2 days ago and steal my blanket back from Condie. She is so needy lately. Happy Saturday. y'all!

Most Likely to Surf the Internet...All Day Long

In case you missed this, a woman hired a stripper to attend her 10-year high school reunion for her and then videotaped the whole thing. HI-larious. I couldn't have gotten away with that at my reunion because there were only 77 in my graduating class and everyone knows everyone else's bees-ness.

On the left, you have my senior yearbook portrait. On the right, that would be me, drunk at my 10-year reunion.

I was voted "Most Likely to Become President" in my class, which I guess means I should be schmoozing politicos in D.C., hobnobbing with Hillary. And yet, here I sit, on my couch, laid-off and schmoozeless. Perhaps I should give Hill a call. Maybe she needs someone to make her grilled cheese sandwiches on the weekends.

Life under a macro-scope

Anyone miss me? Don't answer that. Unless you did.

We had a bit of a family crisis this past weekend. I'm still running a debate within myself about whether or not I will share this with you. We're still coming to terms with the whole situation and I'm consoling myself by sleeping as much as humanly possible. That's where I go when I'm depressed, so that's where you'll find me---in bed. I saw my paid therapist yesterday and I spoke to my free therapist (my aunt) today, so I'm working on putting myself back together. Life just sucks sometimes, but you have to move on.

Roy's company is going into a merger, so he has been working very hard lately, but it has been nice to have him working from home some days. Since he has been working four 10-hour days, we've gotten to spend a lot of time together as a family and it has been very nice. I'm so thankful that he is my rock, as always, during yet another storm.

ANYway...I've been playing with the macro lens lately. It has taken me repeated efforts to actually get any shots worth keeping. But, today, third time was a charm. It turns out that you have to be very specific about what you are focusing on.

Anna and I were having some fun in the yard this morning and we spent a lot of time harassing a poor ladybug. Anna kept begging me to let her "keep it forever and ever."

We're going to go pick out a tree to plant in the backyard this afternoon, so, Happy Earth Day!

Flight Control Game

I don't have as much time now that I'm in my second week of being a SAHM (part-time), but here's a quick tip: if you have an iPod touch or an iPhone, buy Flight Control right NOW. It is $0.99 and you won't regret it. Tom told Roy, who told me and we've all been playing it constantly. It is so addictive. My highest score is 37, but the guys have gotten 60-something. I am making it my life's mission to beat them and show them that GIRLS RULE!

Update: I'm up to 64, but the guys are up to 80. :(

Experiment in Humiliation

Yesterday, my mom told me that a story on the news said that it is pointless to try to get a job online and networking is the way to get employed.  I scoffed.  

I had a meeting with a headhunter this morning.  It looks like I may have a job next month.  It isn't anything glamorous, but "Shakespeare gotta get paid, son."  The only reason I will be getting this job (if I do) is because of Roy being the big stud that he is.  So, I officially retract my scoff. 

To celebrate a good meeting, I decided to have a fun day.  (Don't tell Roy.)

Did I go to the mall?  No.  Lunch with friends?  Naw.  Play date with Anna?  Nope.  Then, what did you do, Jessica?  Well...let me tell you.  

I played with my Mac Book.  Yep.  I sat my butt on the couch in front of my computer just like I do every day.  And, it was awesomeness.

I heart Photo Booth.

And, I was playing with iMovie, but I'll be honest...I don't get it.  It seems very complicated.  So, as a special treat for visiting my little corner of the world...you get to watch me sing.  I would turn your volume down if you are listening at work.  Actually, you might want to just mute it.  Anyone watching at Penton....well, don't.  Let me say, there is a reason that I haven't tried out for "American Idol."  I'm no Lil Rounds, but get a few beers in me and I'll karaoke until the sun comes up.  Badly.  

Pleated Petal Tank ANTHROPOLIFICATION GIVEAWAY!!!!

Pleated Petal Tank ANTHROPOLIFICATION GIVEAWAY!!!!

I totally want this!!

Woot Woot!

It is midnight twenty here in the CTZ. Why am I up at midnight? Why, to order the new Woot Shirt, of course!

Actually, Roy is working tonight and I like to sit next to him while guys on the speakerphone talk in funny accents in silly languages (and sometimes they even cuss!) "I'm still doing the TO crosspack from the blah, blah, blah....The BCUs are still doing a local download...MO38 is going through a reboot..." Uh, huh. I think it is actually a very elaborate ruse and they are speaking in code so that their wives don't know they are sitting around at 1 am playing Age of Empires online.

Anytime Roy is up at midnight, he checks the Woot Shirt because that's when the new daily shirt gets published. He's a Woot Shirt VIP. Seriously, he owes like 50 of them. They only make 3,000 a day, so you have to order fast. If he wasn't up late, he'll pick up his phone before he even gets out of bed and check the shirt. Sometimes, it is sold out before 6 am. I laughed the first twenty or so times he did that. Now, I know it is part of his daily routine, like his 5:30 pm meeting.

A lot of times, the designs are really clever plays on words, but they don't have captions, so you really have to be sharp to understand them. I'm not so sharp, so I require the funny little explanations that they write up. Roy will look at a picture of a nun playing hockey with a platypus and immediately start rolling on the floor laughing because he knows that it is actually a metaphor for the fact that "Communism is a dying animal." And I'm like, "What?" And he's like, "Really? You don't get it?" And he'll stare at me, thinking to himself, "How did I marry this uneducated, dumb brute of a woman?" And then he'll think, "Oh, yeah, because she doesn't make me pick up my socks and lets me buy all the car models our office can't hold."

He considers these shirts a litmus test for one's intelligence. If he wears a shirt out and someone asks him what it means, that person is written off as an ignorant fooly foolerson. If someone laughs, they clearly don't get it. I thought he was crazy until I wore one out to the grocery store one day. This particular one is of a cute little kitten looking at a cute little puppy. There is a heart above the puppy's head and he has a fish in his mouth. I thought it was adorable and went without explanation. The girl who checked me out said, "Cute shirt." To which I smiled and said, "Thank you!" She then said, "Is there something on the back or what?" I looked at her disbelieving and tried to explain. "No, see the puppy loves the kitten and he brought her a fish." Blank stare from checkout girl.

All that Roy needs to get his attention is a bomb or an animal doing something naughty. I'm a little more discerning. I only own four of these shirts. One of which matches his. Shut up--it's totally cute for a husband and wife to go out in matching shirts. Anyway, I was glad to see today's in a sunny yellow. I'm always joking about the sock trolls that come and steal socks from the dryer, leaving me with a drawer full of mismatched socks. You know what I'm talking about. Well, thanks to Woot, I have been enlightened. Apparently, it wasn't trolls after all. The socks are walking off of their own accord and going to a happier place. We should all be so lucky.

Ask a question, get a monologue...

The scene: We're getting ready for school and Anna's stomach growls.

Me: Are you hungry?

Anna: No. There's a lion in my tummy. He doesn't have teeth or claws; he has polka dots. He used to have sharp claws and big, giant teeth, but the firefighters shot him and put him in jail. He came out and got into my tummy. He's going to come out in sixteen years and he'll sleep with me in my bed.

Me: Wow. (pause) So...you're not hungry, then?

Expose Yourself: Day 4

Today's clue: Something I collect...

Eiffel Towers. Pretty self-explanatory. No, I've never been to Paris. Yes, I've wanted to go everyday of my life. Someday, I'll take the plunge.

"Paris is always a good idea."

I tell you what...Roy and I are having fun with these photo challenges! :) Probably because we'll use any excuse to take pictures.

Someone had a lot of free time...

...even more than me. Of course, Edward has a powerful affect on people.

http://services.google.com/latitudevideo/view.html#n0DCVZQC5m0H-GDZQS5z0DCVZQC5s0MdvLnnmLnuhd-nqf

Expose Yourself: Day 3

Today's clue: Something I can't live without....

This is the Tiffany necklace that Roy bought me for my very first Mother's Day. I had it engraved with his, mine and Anna's first initials. It is my absolute favorite piece of jewelry, aside from my wedding and engagement rings. While I adore the necklace, the things that I truly can't live without are Roy and Anna. Since they are at work and school, you'll have to settle for a picture of their initials.

Obviously, I can physically live without material possessions, but I sure do love stuff. The living room has been my "office" for the past month because our home office is in a state of chaos right now. However, that should change this weekend as we finally got our new storage system, yay! The ottoman pictured above holds my Mac and iPhone, two things that I never would have asked for myself, but Roy purchased for me and now I can't imagine life without them. I always have the house phone and TV remote handy, in case I get a call for an interview (in case, ie: hasn't happened yet) or I have the sudden, unexplainable urge to watch "The View" (which also hasn't happened yet.) Then, we have my magazine stack full of sticky-tabbed pages and my legal pad full of sticky notes.

It doesn't make a whole lot of sense to have a notebook full of sticky notes. You can write on a notebook, so why write on sticky notes and them attach them to a notebook? Because I am a freak. I love sticky notes almost as much as I love chocolate. I think of random things at random moments, so I grab a sticky note. Writing things down makes my brain sigh in relief because I was hanging on to that one thought until I could find a pen and paper, but now I can forget about it. And forget about it, I will, because that thing will never get done. No, the sticky note will fall off and get lost long before I remember to remember the thing that was so important that it had to be written down right that moment.

What is YOUR online reputation?

I hadn't given a single thought to reputation management until I was reading one of my favorite blogs recently. Mindy, the author, sells advertising on her blog, which is the source of her family's income. She frequently participates in Momversations, which are video discussions between successful mommy bloggers on selected topics.

In one particular session, the ladies were discussing "Post Baby Body." In the clip, which is edited together with the other women's responses by the Momversation website, Mindy made a comment about how the changes to a mom's body are like changing from a girl to a woman (I'm paraphrasing a bit.) One viewer took this comment out of the context in which it was meant and was actually offended by it. This viewer had her own highly trafficked website, No Pasa Nada, so she wrote a post harshly criticizing (and unfairly, I might add) Mindy and ended up with over 100 readers posting their displeasure over the comment, as well.

The scathing comments continued on the website until Mindy wrote a follow-up apology on her own blog. She attempted to comment on NPN's blog post, but the author had closed the comments. After Mindy's apology, NPN opened comments back up and Mindy was able to confront her critics. She commented that these hurtful comments were putting her integrity and livelihood in jeopardy by tarnishing her online reputation. NPN finally closed the discussion and comments and appears to have moved on. But, what if she hadn't moved on? If this woman had decided to continue her tirade, she could have launched an all out campaign against Mindy and her blog, effectively cutting off her revenue source and putting her family's financial security at risk. (Thank God she didn't. I applaud NPN for not going any further, BTW.)

The Internet is such an enormous part of our lives now that we look to the web to be our reference guide on all things. With the incredible number of personal blogs and watchdog websites, there are a lot of opinions floating around on the Internet. You can find entire sites dedicated to consumer complaints against companies. Some of these vitriolic tirades are well-deserved, but some are isolated incidents and some are even competition-inspired fabrications.

So, what to do when your name is smeared? Call the experts, of course. Oh, yes, there are experts in online reputation management. Check out the site if you don't believe me. You can actually pay public relations consultants and web experts to monitor and correct negative online attacks on your reputation. As it turns out, all publicity isn't good publicity.

See all the fun things you can discover when you have nothing better to do with your day?! I'd LOVE to know what you think! ;)

Expose Yourself: Day 2

Yesterday, I was at Bed, Bath & Beyond with my mom and we were looking for a bed pocket for Anna's bed. They didn't have one, but they did have lots of new wall art, which I have a real weakness for. I can't tell you how much wall art we have sitting in our garage that is not being used.

Anyway, I saw this...

...which inspired me to try something similiar. So, when today's clue was "something borrowed", I decided to "borrow" BB&B's idea and make my name out of objects around the house. Voila!

Once I decided what I was going to do, this exercise was so much fun! At first it was hard to find things that look like letters, but by the end I was seeing letters, letters everywhere!

Expose Yourself: Day 1

That sounds dirty, doesn't it? :) So, I've decided to do a photo challenge, mostly for myself, but if you'd like to play along, I'd love to see your images. NO nudity!! That title is just for fun!

I made some vague clues that give me a starting point and I'll pick one every weekday and take a picture based on the clue. If you want to play, just use the logo above (and link it back to Cookies For Breakfast) and post your photo on your blog. Then, leave a comment on my website that includes the link to your blog. If we get several responses, I'll feature one person's photo the next day.

Here is my clue jar...

And here is today's clue....

Something I wish I'd never bought

And here is that something....

....toys that make silly sounds. I have to admit that we still use the baby monitor for our three-year old. I don't know if that is normal, but I still cling to the comfort of knowing what is going on in her room. She gets up and comes into our room when she wakes up, but for the most part, she will just call if she needs something.

Back to the toys that make silly sounds....Sure, they sound cute and fun in the daylight, but when your child insists on sleeping with every stuffed animal she owns, you end up hearing very strange noises coming from her bed in the middle of the night. For instance, at 3 am, you might hear a pained child's voice whining, "I don't feeeel so well," and you panic because you know that will soon be followed by the messy, "I need to frow up." But, after you get your bearings, you realize that your child has simply rolled over onto Doctor Me Care Bear and you will not be cleaning up carrot chunks after all.

Or when Elmo suddenly issues a, "He, he. That tickles!" and you picture a purvey clown that has snuck into your child's room. All of these sound extra creepy in the dark--like those kid's voices that they use on horror movies to freak you out.

Note to new parents: DO NOT buy these toys if you want sanity in the wee hours. (That is, after your child has learned to sleep. We all know about the insanity of the newborn, of course.)

Spend Green to Be Green

The April issue of InStyle has some fashionable ways to stay green....

Products featured: Elezar clutch, Banana Republic Heritage denim, Further soap, Tarte bamboo set, TOMS canvas flats, Yellingbo olive oil, Ferragamo leather hobo, Eco-ganik blouse

5 Ways to live green:

1. Green Depot

2. Seventh Generation

3. Ecco Hollywood

4. Rubie Green

5. Element hotels

The Wild Things are not here

I never would have guessed that this would make a good live-action movie, but it certainly looks good...coming October 16.

I tried to buy Where the Wild Things Are for Anna last weekend, but she said it was "scary." I guess we'll try again in a couple years.

Free Downloads for Busy Mommies

Today, I'm doing short posts instead a long one. Hope that works for you. ;)

Mommies need lots of help (physically and psychologically), but you already knew that. Mommy Track'd has provided some adorable (and FREE!) downloads that might help you on your way to organizational bliss. Or, in my case, it might just be more to add to the pile of lists and post its that only help me think that I'm more organized, but it will be a cute pile, dammit!

Social media overload

I found this iPod application at Uncrate that I will not be purchasing for the low low price of $2. Ego apparently keeps track of your stats for websites and socmed outlets. ("socmed"--If that isn't a word yet, remember that you heard it here first. If it is already...oh well.) When they make a free version, I'll be down with that. While I have a lot of socmed sites that I need to keep track of, I don't need the stats so much as I need regular updates.



While I use a Mac, we run a program called Boot Camp that allows me to use Windows. I use the Mac side for photography stuff and the Windows side for everything else. Anyway, I found this awesome IM client, Digsby, that keeps track of all of my email accounts, buddy lists and social media sites like Twitter and Facebook. I get little pop ups whenever I have a new update or message. Fabulous! They currently don't have a version for Mac, but are working on it.

I heart sharks

Earth Day 2009

Earth Day is April 22 so I thought I'd put together a "little" mention about that. (It seems impossible for me to write a short anything.) I remember talking about Earth Day in elementary school and getting excited about participating in something that people all over the world were involved with at the same time. It somehow made me feel globally connected. (I didn't travel far outside my hometown of 400 and these were the days before the internet.) I remember that we had a little parade up to Main Street and I "reported" on it for our short-lived faux news channel. In a class of 17 children, we didn't have the resources that kids in the metro area have now. (And we had to walk to school uphill in 2 feet of snow, barefoot.)

Back in 1988-ish, Earth Day was a nice thing to talk about, but it didn't have the urgency that it does today. I remember our main concerns being oil spills and cleaning up litter around waterways. Boy, if those were the only things we had to worry about today. Now, every day during the summer, I have to check the Air Quality Index to see if my child will be allowed to go outside at recess. Oh, and by the way, the arctic ice that helps cool the Earth is melting faster than expected and a new study shows that it could be completely gone in 30 years, so get ready for a heat wave! Ugh.

Last year, we bought her this book, It's Earth Day! by Mercer Mayer at Wal-Mart. We've always loved that author and this seemed like a good way to introduce environmental responsibility. In the book, Little Critter finds out that the polar ice is melting, so he embarks on a mission to help save the polar bears by recycling, etc. We decided that this was an easy, albeit not entirely accurate, way to engage a then two-year-old in discussions about conserving energy. So, whenever she runs the water too long, stands with the fridge open for several minutes, or forgets to turn a light off, we chime, "Anna, we need to save the polar bears!" This is a cause she can get behind. Who doesn't love polar bears?! I saw this link this morning that the Arctic nations are taking steps to help save the polar bears. The KC Zoo is supposed to be getting a polar bear exhibit in the next couple of years, so that is exciting!

We observed Earth Hour on March 28 and it was surprisingly fun, as we played some board games by the fire with champagne (for me), while I Twittered on my new iPhone. We had explained to Anna that this was another way to help the polar bears and she even insisted on going to the bathroom in the dark. She actually got upset when we used electricity instead of flashlights the next morning. My heart swelled with pride last night as she picked up one of Roy's empty pop cans (that he leaves all over the downstairs) and brought it upstairs to put in the recycle bin.

Last year, we bought adorable organic cotton t-shirts from Wal-Mart and they have new designs this year for the whole family, including a maternity version. These range in price from $4 to $6. We had to get ours fairly early last year because they were selling out, so get there soon. This year's designs were all "inspired by" celebrities, including Keith Urban, Jewel, Demi Lavato, Beyonce and Gavin Rossdale.

Wal-Mart has a whole section of their website devoted to Earth Month. Here are a few other products that caught my eye. Sesame Street video, Ziploc Evolve bags, shelving and Planet Earth DVDs (which we have, but haven't watched yet).

Some other ideas I use: recyclable toothbrush, canvas shopping bags for $1 and recycling other plastic bags at grocery stores, Starbucks cup that gets you 10 cents off every time you use it, save leftover fast food napkins to use at home, take old catalogs to Anna's school to use for art projects, Ideal Bite, "An Inconvenient Truth", "The 11th Hour".

There is the related issue of THE HORRIBLE THINGS WE ARE DOING TO OUR OCEANS, but I could write a whole other post on that and this one is getting too long!

I'd love to hear ideas that you use to help save the polar bears!

It's 12 pm...do you know where your toddler is?

I had a terrible dream last night that someone was trying to take my child away from me. When I got up this morning, I crawled into bed with Anna (after removing 12 of her 34 stuffed animals) and snuggled her for a long time.

The picture above appeared in the April issue of Wired on their "Predict What's Next" page. They asked readers to envision Child Safety Gear From the Future, this example being from 2019.

This monthly feature is intended to be a social barometer and make us feel guilty about where the world is headed and it usually does. Personally, though, I like the idea of a child locator. I think most parents are actually concerned about their child's safety and not the cost of ransom, but that doesn't get as many laughs. Why not implant a little locator into your child's foot? We do it for pets, right?

What are your thoughts?

Must Read...and Laugh

Is anyone planning on reading Pride and Prejudice and Zombies? ET Weekly gave it an A- and Wired put it on their Playlist. I'd like someone else to read it first and let me know if it is worth the effort. My sister, The Purist, and Jane Austen's biggest fan, made the worst face after reading the review, so I know she won't go anywhere near it.



The publisher of this book is Quirk Classics and their website is full of plenty of time-wasting fun for EVERYONE.


For the bookworms: Here is an article where they postulate potential follow-ups to PPZ. My favorite suggestion is A Farewell To Arms and Legs.


For the Boy Scouts: I bought the Worst-Case Survival Scenario Handbook when it first came out in 1999 and LOVED it. It is full of helpful and hilarious how-tos. I didn't realize this was from the same publishing company as PPZ. Here is a how-to from the Worst-Case Survival Scenario: Extreme Edition.


For the Twilight Lovers:
"How to avoid a vampire attack"...

Obviously, these survival techniques don't apply to Stephenie Meyer's vampires. Meet one of those and you are pretty much screwed. As Bella showed us, pepper spray has no effect. And, as Edward so famously demonstrated, you can't outrun them or fend them off. I would say, just embrace sweet death and be thankful that your demon angel is a hottie.


For the ladies who are knocked up: Another fun article is "The Worst Television To Watch While You're Pregnant" from The Pregnancy Countdown Book and they are right on. I avoided every single one of those shows when I was PG.


For the guys: Quite possibly the funniest thing I saw, albeit the most offensive. I know Roy will get a kick out this...from How To Live With A Huge Penis, "A Prayer for Owen's Weenie."


...And everything in between. Seriously, take a look or two or twenty. In case you hadn't heard...we're in a recession. It's not like you have work to do.