Most Likely to Surf the Internet...All Day Long

In case you missed this, a woman hired a stripper to attend her 10-year high school reunion for her and then videotaped the whole thing. HI-larious. I couldn't have gotten away with that at my reunion because there were only 77 in my graduating class and everyone knows everyone else's bees-ness.

On the left, you have my senior yearbook portrait. On the right, that would be me, drunk at my 10-year reunion.

I was voted "Most Likely to Become President" in my class, which I guess means I should be schmoozing politicos in D.C., hobnobbing with Hillary. And yet, here I sit, on my couch, laid-off and schmoozeless. Perhaps I should give Hill a call. Maybe she needs someone to make her grilled cheese sandwiches on the weekends.

Experiment in Humiliation

Yesterday, my mom told me that a story on the news said that it is pointless to try to get a job online and networking is the way to get employed.  I scoffed.  

I had a meeting with a headhunter this morning.  It looks like I may have a job next month.  It isn't anything glamorous, but "Shakespeare gotta get paid, son."  The only reason I will be getting this job (if I do) is because of Roy being the big stud that he is.  So, I officially retract my scoff. 

To celebrate a good meeting, I decided to have a fun day.  (Don't tell Roy.)

Did I go to the mall?  No.  Lunch with friends?  Naw.  Play date with Anna?  Nope.  Then, what did you do, Jessica?  Well...let me tell you.  

I played with my Mac Book.  Yep.  I sat my butt on the couch in front of my computer just like I do every day.  And, it was awesomeness.

I heart Photo Booth.

And, I was playing with iMovie, but I'll be honest...I don't get it.  It seems very complicated.  So, as a special treat for visiting my little corner of the world...you get to watch me sing.  I would turn your volume down if you are listening at work.  Actually, you might want to just mute it.  Anyone watching at Penton....well, don't.  Let me say, there is a reason that I haven't tried out for "American Idol."  I'm no Lil Rounds, but get a few beers in me and I'll karaoke until the sun comes up.  Badly.  

Another "New Moon" cast member added..

BBC News is reporting that 20 year-old Jamie Campbell Bower has been cast as Volturi vampire Caius for “New Moon.” The British actor’s first big screen credit was Anthony Hope in Tim Burton’s “Sweeney Todd.” Bower might just get along great with “Twilight’s” leading man and fellow Brit, Rob Pattinson. Bower is also a musician and last year he had a small part as a rock star in Guy Ritchie’s “RocknRolla.” Maybe we’ll see a Pattinson/Bower collaboration on the “New Moon” soundtrack?

In the book, Caius is described as having shoulder-length, white hair and “paper-thin skin.” An outspoken member of the Volturi leaders, Caius threatens Bella’s life and forces a decision that shapes her future with Edward. He is also the only one of the Volturi leaders that does not possess a special gift beyond normal vampiric abilities.

If Breaking Dawn, the fourth and final book in Stephenie Meyer’s Twilight Saga, comes to the screen, the calculating Caius would likely be called on again as he plays a big role in the showdown between good and evil.

News on the casting of the Italian vampires for “New Moon” continues to trickle in. Last week, I reported that Canadian model Noot Seear was chosen to play the sexy vamp Heidi and the role of uniquely gifted Jane went to Dakota Fanning earlier this month.

What do you think? Are you surprised Chris Weitz has tapped a 20 year-old to play one of the ancient vampires?

Update: I wrote this under the impression that it would be used on MTV Movies Blog again. They didn't end up needing it so I posted it here because it was already written. I will not attempt to make this a "Twilight" news blog.

I'm published!!

That's right. I just got my first by-line on MTV Movies Blog! I am bursting with excitement! Leave a comment on their blog and tell them that I need to write more stories!! :)

http://moviesblog.mtv.com/2009/03/26/runway-model-noot-seear-snags-vampire-vixen-role-in-new-moon/

Week One Wrap Up

Monkey and I did a lot of laundry last week. Working on the computer doesn't neccessarily net tangible results, so this made me feel like I got something accomplished. It is washed. Folding it and putting it away is a completely other matter.

On Wednesday, we joined my aunt, Jen, for scrapbooking. My daughter is three now, so I decided that maybe I should try working on her baby album. Yeah, I'm a little behind. I had Roy buy me one of those pre-made ones, so all you have to do is add the pictures. But, it was so beautiful that I never wanted to mess it up, which I was sure I would do if I attempted to actually put something in it. Jen has a million scrapbooking tools...seriously amazing. Even with a lunch break to celebrate her birthday, I actually managed to finish 5 pages. Very impressive. And then Monkey did a number 2 on the book, so now I have to start over. My mom told me, "Never trust a monkey."

We spent the next 2 days resume-building. I found a fabulous job that I will never be considered for, but I put a lot of effort into selling myself anyway. Monkey is actually a very helpful spell-checker.

I'm a good lay...off candidate.

My husband says I'm a real tiger in....the unemployment line.
Those are his words--not mine.
-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.
I got laid off today.

Unfortunately, there had already been a lot of layoffs at my company, but that allowed me time to mentally prepare myself. I didn't know when it would happen, but I was certain that it was coming. When my boss hugged me and asked me to follow her, I simply inquired, "Is today the day?"

This resignation to my fate allowed me to finish out the work day without a tear. To say that I am an emotional person, would be like calling Amy Winehouse simply "troubled". I am proud to say that I was able to say goodbye to my co-workers and friends and even give some instructions to the people taking over my workload. The goodbyes were the hardest part, of course. The people that I've come to rely on for support, especially during these last few difficult months, have become so much more important than I gave them credit for.

It was lovely to hear my boss say wonderful things about me over the country club lunch that she felt compelled to take me out to. I bear her no ill will because I know that she was merely the messenger and the tears she shed throughout the day only solidified her status in my mind as "The Best Boss EVER". I actually did walk out with a smile on my face.

I felt just a tiny bit relieved that I wasn't waiting anymore. The waiting was killer. I held my breath every time the phone rang--terrified it would be someone from the Human Resources department. Hushed words and closed doors set off panic attacks. I was afraid to listen to my Ipod--what if I missed an important corporate rumor? It is a poisonous environment that has sadly become so commonplace in our world now. Oh, why didn't someone make me go to med school?!

On the drive home, I cranked up the song that I kept playing over in my head during the day like a mantra. (And Tom, I swear if you make one more comment about how I'm not a true fan because I discovered them after they were on the "Twilight" soundtrack, I will cheerfully beat you to death. Don't forget who gave you the line on pre-sale tickets.)

Paramore, "Fences"
I'm sitting in a room made up of only big white walls and in the hall there are people looking through the window in the door they know exactly what we're here for.
Don't look up just let them think there's no place else you'd rather be.
You're always on display for everyone to watch and learn from don't you know by now you can't turn back. Cause this road is all you'll ever have.
It's obvious that you're dying dying.
Just living proof that the camera's lying and oh oh open wide.
This is your night so smile cause you'll go out in style, you’ll go out in style.

Unfortunately, the smile only lasted until I got home. Then, I found myself telling our daughter that she shouldn't use more than two squares of toilet paper at a time. Gotta pinch those pennies!

Our little girl is three years old and a pistol, but she is very conscious of our emotional climate. Roy told her to be nice to me because I lost my job. She turned to me in complete seriousness and said, "Don't worry, Mommy. I'll find it for you." I think she is still looking.