Twilight Parody

Taylor Swift on Saturday Night Live...funny.

Buzz, buzz

Been a busy bee...

1. Working on the photography business a lot, which feels good.  Please follow the blog--I've actually been updating it lately.

2. My child has suddenly reverted back to acting like a baby--, tantrums, saying "uppy, snacky, huggy" and ...not using the toilet.  Her doctor says we are locked in a "power struggle".  I say, it sucks.

3. I hate summer.  Anyone with me?  Bugs (I got bit by radio-active mosquitoes, which gave me red/purple baseball-sized lumps all over my legs), heat (yuck), sweating (nasty), grass that needs to be mowed (not my job, but still a bummer). 

4. I do like having frequent play dates with our neighbors.  Since I'm home and Renee is home for the summer, we've been seeing a lot of each other lately, which is very cool.  I LOVE that the girls are friends and so excited to see each other.  Anna keeps asking when she'll get to play with Sophia again.  And, we are having our second play date tonight with her friend Lydia, who lives not too far away.  It cracks me up that these are play dates for the adults as well as the girls, because we really like the parents of these kids, so that's cool.

5. I said I was done with vampires, but of course, I'm not.  I'm really enjoying the Sookie Stackhouse series and "True Blood", so....there.

6. I haven't actually finished a craft project in 4 years, so I'm very proud that I have one nearly done and will share pics next time.

7. We are shooting a wedding this weekend, which I'm excited about.

8. Paramore concert is one week away!!  Totally stoked!!!

And with that in mind, I give you the lyrics to my favorite Paramore song...

We Are Broken

Album: RIOT! (CD/Digital)

VERSE ONE: 
I am outside and I've been waiting for the sun 
With my wide eyes i've seen worlds that don't belong 
my mouth is dry... with words i cannot verbalize 
tell me why we live like this. 

PRE: 
and keep me safe inside 
your arms like towers 
tower over me. 

CHORUS: 
Cause we are broken 
what must we do to restore 
our innocence and all the promise we adored? 
give us life again 
we just wanna be whole. 

VERSE TWO: 
Lock the doors, I'd like to capture this voice 
That came to me tonight 
so everyone will have a choice 
and under red lights, i'll show myself it wasn't forged 
we're at war... we live like this. 

PRE: 
keep me safe inside 
your arms like towers 
tower over me 

CHORUS: 
Cause we are broken 
what must we do to restore 
our innocence and all the promise we adored? 
give us life again 
we just wanna be whole. 

BRIDGE: 
ahhhh 
ahhhh 
tower over me 
tower over me 

CHORUS: 
Cause we are broken 
what must we do to restore 
our innocence and all the promise we adored? 
give us life again 
we just wanna be whole.

Retraction and revelation

I hereby apologize to anyone that ran out and bought The Vampire Diaries series after reading my last post.  Sorry Trisha!!  That will show me not to blog about something before I finish it.  

The first two books (published in 1991) dealt with Elena falling in love with Stefan, but being attracted to his brother, Damon.  The vampire brothers struggled against each other to see who would win her.  This plot line worked for me.  It wasn't too dark or gory, but had some elements of mystery and suspense.  And any similarities to Twilight ended after the first book.

The third book got creepier, and frankly, a little unbelievable.   (I know--I'm reading a vampire novel, not historical fiction, but she had a vampire possessing the town's dogs to attack their owners.)  There was a lot going on and some of it was just too fantastic to be credible.  And sometimes, she left things unexplained.  (If a vampire can only change into one animal, how was Katherine able to be an owl, a kitten and a tiger?)  

According to this interview, Smith originally only wrote the series as a trilogy, but bowed to reader pressure to write the fourth book in 1992.  She shouldn't have.  The fourth book was straight up scary.  And that seemed to be it's main purpose.  To scare, not to entertain.  It raised several questions that were never answered.  (How could Klaus be alive if Katherine said she killed him?  Was Tyler killed?)  Smith seemed to forget some of the things mentioned in the previous book, as there were several story line gaffes.  

Then, there is the fifth book.  Ugh.  Published earlier this year, 18 years after the first book, the story picks up only days after the end of the last book.  From the very first line, I was lost.  It seemed like she was writing the story haphazardly, without bothering to explain what was going on.  Some questions were answered later, many were not.  (What was the point of Bonnie's midnight-backward-strange language-cell phone prediction?!)  I found myself flipping back several pages to reread something that she referenced differently later.  Again, many story line gaffes (Damon didn't have to ask Caroline to invite him into her house, as he had been invited in by her parents in the 2nd book), as well as typos (Dr. Alpert becomes Dr. Albert for an entire page, at one point.)  And the most unbelievable plot lines possible.  A guy that chewed off his fingers after being possessed, tree-men that tried to pull a girl's limbs off, tree vines that strangle victims, fox spirits that put people in "snow globes" and magic keys that give you anything you want.  Yeah.

 There was a lot of focus on sexual solicitation in this book, which didn't fit in with the themes in the other books, was very uncomfortable and didn't serve a purpose.  Basically, it seemed like this book was written to capitalize on the recent vampire craze.  Fortunately for Smith, the CW bought the plans to make the books into a TV series days before this last book was released.  Unfortunately, she is planning to write two more books in this series.  Don't waste your time reading these books!  Or, just read the first two and I'll fill you in on what happens from there.  (Someone dies, becomes a vampire, dies again, becomes a powerful spirit, then becomes a human with angelic powers.  You follow all of that?)  I'm sure the TV show will end up being better than the books, because, well, it can't go anywhere but up.

Also, we've been watching the first season of "True Blood".  It is frickin' scary.  I like the story line between Sookie and Bill and Sam, but the rest of it sucks, IMO.  I prefer my vampires vegetarians, like the Cullens.  I think I'm just going to give up trying to find something like Twilight, because it is suddenly obvious to me that it's popularity is due to the fact that it was new and special and there isn't anything else like it out there.  The real draw to it was the impossible relationship between Edward and Bella.  I also liked the fact that it didn't scare the piss out of me.  I don't need the blood and gore--that isn't sexy.  Edward...perfect, beautiful, Edward...is.  Stephenie Meyer---write more Twilight!!!!

New Obsession!!!

Happy Birthday to me, Happy Birthday to me!!  Ok, it isn't really my birthday, but it feels like I just got a great present!!  

When I was done reading the Twilight series, I wanted to read more, of course.  I started several books, but nothing held my interest like Stephenie Meyer's tales.  Borders, like everyone else, was trying to cash in on the sudden interest in vampires, so they had huge displays set up showcasing other related young adult books.  I took note of the following series: 

Blue Bloods by Melissa de la Cruz

Dead Until Dark by Charlaine Harris--inspired "True Blood"

Vampire Academy by Richelle Mead

The Vampire Diaries by L.J. Smith

I hadn't thought much about them for several months.  I looked for a few of them at the local library, but they had waiting lists.  On Tuesday night, we were in Half Price Books and I spotted the first two books in The Vampire Diaries, so I bought them...and read the first one that night.

I finished the second book last night and I'm hooked!  They aren't as good as Twilight, but they are a nice time-waster until Meyer gives in and writes some more.  There are some STRIKING similiarities to Twilight, but I suppose there is only so much one can imagine about vampires.

The characters aren't as developed as Meyer's, probably because these books are shorter.  Meyer is very fond of building the back story and giving you everyone's history.  It slows the books down in some places, but I was always grateful to have that extra information that gave the characters more depth.  

Smith's books are darker and focus more on the supernatural aspect and a little less on the love story.  The love story is, of course, the reason we loved Twilight. Smith's books are very sexy, though!  Hot vampire brothers fighting over the same girl!!  HE-llo!!!   The "bad" vampire in these books does actually kill people and occassionally the "good" vampire does, too, though he prefers to be a "vegetarian" like the Cullens.  While there hasn't been any SEX yet, there are a lot of innuendos and near nudity and you know the characters are totally thinking about it, whereas Meyer's books purposely shied away from that.

A lot of the vampiric lore is different from Twilight, but I will now point out that Smith's first book in this series was published in 1991.  Only after the success of Twilight were they rereleased under the Harper Teen label.  The series was on the New York Times Bestseller List, but I don't know if that was with the first printing or the most recent.  And now I present to you, a passage that sounds an awful lot like the "meadow scene" from Twilight (chapter 13: Confessions).  

The Vampire Diaries, "The Awakening", chapter 14:

"That's why you've been so distant with me, isn't it?" she said, holding out her hands to him.  "Because you're afraid of what you might do.  But there's no need for that any longer."

"Isn't there?"  ... You think there's no reason to be afraid?... You don't know what I've thought about you."

Elena kept her voice level.  "You don't want to hurt me, " she said positively.

"No?  There have been times, watching you in public, when I could scarcely bear not to touch you.  When I was so tempted by your white throat... Times when I thought I would grab you and force you right there in the school."

"There's no need to force me," said Elena.  "I've made my decision, Stefan," she said softly, holding his eyes.  "I want to."

He swallowed thickly.  "You don't know what you're asking for."  ... He was standing rigid, his face furious, his eyes anguished.  "If I once let go, what's to keep me from changing you, or killing you?  The passion is stronger than you can imagine.  Don't you understand yet what I am, what I can do?"

She stood there and looked at him quietly, her chin raised slightly.  It seemed to enrage him.

"Haven't you seen enough yet?  Or do I have to show you more?  Can't you picture what I might do to you?"  He strode over to the cold fireplace and snatched out a long piece of wood, thicker than both Elena's wrists together.  With one motion, he snapped it in two like a match stick.  "Your fragile bones," he said.

Across the room was a pillow from the bed; he caught it up and with a slash of his nails left the silk cover in ribbons.  "Your soft skin."

Huh, huh?  :)  ANYway, still good stuff.  If you've read all of the series listed above, here is another list.  It sounds like several of the series will be turned into television shows or movies, so that everyone can get their share of the vampire pie (not that I'm complaining.)  I am going to check out the first season of "True Blood" and then the new season starts June 14 on HBO.  And then, I will be counting the days until "The Vampire Diaries" comes to the CW this fall!  I can tell there are already some changes made from the books, but it still looks pretty hot!!  Check out the preview below and then tell me you aren't going to watch that.  I predict that my sister will be over at my house at least once a week to partake in this joyous-ness.  Now, if only I can get my mother interested....

New Moon Trailer from MTV Movie Awards

Movie Trailers - Movies Blog

No doubt you've all seen this by now, but by embedding it in my blog, it is now easily bookmarked for me.  I've watched it half a dozen times already and read the frame by frame analysis.  

I'm impressed.  I'll be honest, I wasn't sure a trailer this early would be any good, but it wasn't bad.  I'm especially pleased with the wolf.  We all knew that element would be crucial and I think it looks pretty good.  What we've seen so far appears to be very close to the book, so that is fabulous.  Taylor looked hot.  Rob's hair looks better.  Not too shabby.  Hooray for Chris Whats-His-Name!  

BTW...Catherine Hardwicke really thinks she is the bomb.  I would disagree, but whatever.  Glad to see Kristen drop her award...what was she wearing?!  She and Rob couldn't look more disdainful.  I suppose it could be insecurity and shyness that comes off looking like disdain, but they are actors.  They could act a little more humble.  ANYway...off to Bedfordshire.

VeryShortPost, kind of

Still reeling from the Idol upset... (I don't care what this article says, it is still an upset.)

We have a lot going on with the bathroom remodel, so I've just got a short post for you.  If you are on Twitter, you must start following VeryShortStory.  If you aren't on Twitter...WHY aren't you on Twitter?!  You can also visit the website.  A guy writes "Twitter-sized" stories.  Perfect for those of us who don't have time to read actual books.  Examples: 

"I bought a jaguar today. Not a car, an ACTUAL jaguar. I figure it will impress women more than a car. I got a two seat saddle for it."

"I could tell by her fur she wasn't from around here. We chit chatted. I put on the moves. We went to my place. In Spring, we had cubs."

"Order up, Wolverine." He spent his time waiting tables now, feeling bitter how fast his life had gone downhill. He blamed Star Trek."

"Ty softly tossed a pebble at Wendy's window. In return, a large rock hit him squarely in the head. He would take that as a ‘no'."

"After losing his job, Nigel lived without caution. Even when the forecast called for rain, he refused to carry an umbrella."

"You want to hold hands?" said Bill. "Umm.......Ok." said Ken. They both needed a little comfort. It had been a tough staff meeting."

GLEE-ful

I am SO excited about the "Glee" preview tonight!  I know I am not the only person that has been singing "Don't Stop Believin'" for a month now.  They have been pimping that boy hard!  Who ever heard of previewing a show 4 months before it actually starts?  Genius!  And right after the "American Idol" final performances?  They couldn't ask for a more receptive audience.  Especially with the knowledge that soon-to-be-crowned winner Adam Lambert started out in musical theater.  And did I mention how I shrieked with absolute JOY when Danny left last week?!  I'm just disappointed that we don't have an Adam/Allison finale, but I'll take what I can get.

I'm going to see if I can dig up some of my high school choir pics because we had some flashy outfits.  I'm remembering with fondness a certain blue sequined dress we wore one year.  Alas, I doubt I will be able to find any video to post, as these were the days before YouTube.  However, for your viewing pleasure today, I have here probably the best show choir performance I've ever seen.  I can't believe these guys are in high school.  Powerhouse from John Burroughs High School in Burbank, CA.

John Burroughs "Powerhouse" 2007 - Journey Medley from Show Choir Community on Vimeo.

If you just can't get enough, you can also enjoy these two choirs.

Wave Connection from Tupelo, MS- "Uptown Girl"

Cutting Edge from Urbana, IL- "Just Dance"

Must Read...and Laugh

Is anyone planning on reading Pride and Prejudice and Zombies? ET Weekly gave it an A- and Wired put it on their Playlist. I'd like someone else to read it first and let me know if it is worth the effort. My sister, The Purist, and Jane Austen's biggest fan, made the worst face after reading the review, so I know she won't go anywhere near it.



The publisher of this book is Quirk Classics and their website is full of plenty of time-wasting fun for EVERYONE.


For the bookworms: Here is an article where they postulate potential follow-ups to PPZ. My favorite suggestion is A Farewell To Arms and Legs.


For the Boy Scouts: I bought the Worst-Case Survival Scenario Handbook when it first came out in 1999 and LOVED it. It is full of helpful and hilarious how-tos. I didn't realize this was from the same publishing company as PPZ. Here is a how-to from the Worst-Case Survival Scenario: Extreme Edition.


For the Twilight Lovers:
"How to avoid a vampire attack"...

Obviously, these survival techniques don't apply to Stephenie Meyer's vampires. Meet one of those and you are pretty much screwed. As Bella showed us, pepper spray has no effect. And, as Edward so famously demonstrated, you can't outrun them or fend them off. I would say, just embrace sweet death and be thankful that your demon angel is a hottie.


For the ladies who are knocked up: Another fun article is "The Worst Television To Watch While You're Pregnant" from The Pregnancy Countdown Book and they are right on. I avoided every single one of those shows when I was PG.


For the guys: Quite possibly the funniest thing I saw, albeit the most offensive. I know Roy will get a kick out this...from How To Live With A Huge Penis, "A Prayer for Owen's Weenie."


...And everything in between. Seriously, take a look or two or twenty. In case you hadn't heard...we're in a recession. It's not like you have work to do.

Gone country...for a night

Let's be honest, most of American Idol's faithful viewers dread country night. Die hard country fans probably watch Nashville Star and the like. While there is always at least one country contestant to watch in the top 12, there has only been one country singer to win in the show's seven previous seasons.

Last night was a tribute to the Grand Ole Opry with Randy Travis as the guest mentor. When I was little, my mom would play Randy Travis singing "Forever & Ever, Amen" and she would swoon. So, Randy is old school and was taken aback by many of the song choices, but he seemed pleasantly surprised by most of the twists they put in to make the songs unique. You aren't going to get a lot of harsh critisim from a good ole' boy. Seriously though, he's never seen a man wear nail polish? I know they get cable in Tennessee.

The winners of the night were all ballads. This shouldn't be a surprise because only contestants that are truly "country" would try to pull off an uptempo country song. (Try to imagine Anoop Dogg doing "She Thinks My Tractor's Sexy.") Cringe. This is not the night to try to prove that you can cross over to other genres. No, the best bet is to go ballad and put in a little of your flavor, be it R&B or soulful piano. Several of the guys took strong female songs, which can always be dangerous, but surprisingly made them work.

I have ranked them in order of how I viewed last night's performances:

Matt Giraud, "So Small" by Carrie Underwood- Loved it. I haven't been a fan of his at all, but tonight he really stood out. I don't really like most of Carrie Underwood's songs, but I liked his version. I was drawn to a comparison of Joshua Kadison when he was playing the piano. If he can write songs, he may be able to garner even more appeal.

Kris Allen, "To Make You Feel My Love" by Garth Brooks- His version was so simple and yet the new arrangement really showcased his vocals. The fact that he played without his guitar really made you focus on his cute baby face. I was surprised to see him make it into the semi-finals, but now I get it.

Anoop Desai, "Always on My Mind" by Willie Nelson- I've always liked Anoop, but I knew he had to bring it since his last performance wasn't received well (though I enjoyed it.) He knew it, too, so he went to the other end of his spectrum and poured out his soul. Lovely, but the geometric-print hoodie was a little distracting.

Note to director: I wish the camera would focus on close ups when the contestants are doing ballads. They need to be able to look at the camera straight on to establish that important emotional connection. We don't need to see wide and aerial shots when they are standing still.

Adam Lambert, "Ring of Fire" by Johnny Cash (sort of)- He left everyone speechless with his Middle Eastern take on a classic song. I understand why he would do that--it is not necessarily an "untouchable" song, but it is a very famous song that defined a very famous artist that still carries a lot of popularity. How are you going to do it better than JC? By taking it where no one would ever dare to go. The David Cook-song rearranging-comparison is obvious, but this just took it to a whole other level. I think Adam probably could have done the traditional version just fine, but props to him for taking the risk. He's still my favorite.

Megan Corkrey, "Walkin' After Midnight" by Patsy Cline-I never know what to think about Megan. I love her voice, but Colbie Callait-type songs is obviously what she needs to be singing. That is what is so difficult about this competition. There are great singers that are perfect in their niche, but when forced to go outside of that, they falter because it isn't comfortable. Considering that she doesn't have a background in singing, she could do really well with some more experience under her belt. And, I never would have known she was sick last night, so she did a great job covering that up.

Danny Gokey, "Jesus Take the Wheel" by Carrie Underwood- I'm not fond of that song, but his version was better- maybe because it was shorter. Danny is a great performer- that isn't news. There is just something about him that I can't put my finger on, but he doesn't seem 100% genuine. I think the dead wife publicity has had the opposite effect on me--I'd like to see him shed a few tears over her. Entertainment Weekly's March 20th issue picked him to win, but an online article put him second after Adam. Hopefully, that holds true.

Allison Iraheta, "Blame It On Your Heart" by Patty Loveless- I like Allison and she really did great in a genre that I expected her to struggle with. However, her song just didn't stand out enough on a night when everyone else was making unexpected changes to suit their style. She proved that she can cross over, but we really don't want her to.

Scott MacIntyre, "Wild Angels" by Martina McBride- My first reaction was that he finally proved why he was still around and that he wasn't just a sympathy finalist. He made the song a little different and it was really pleasing. Scott and Matt were the only two piano players tonight and both sang ballads. Scott was toward the front of the show and Matt was at the end. I don't know if contestants are randomly placed or if these two were purposely separated to avoid comparison, however, you can't help but compare them anyway. Matt obviously wins.

Paula commented that she would like to see Scott perform without the piano so that he could better connect with the audience. I'm pretty sure that all of America was screaming at their TV in that instant and it sounded something like, "NOOOOOO!" He is blind. He's not going to be able to connect visually in the same way that other contestants are, but he can and does connect on a raw emotional level. I think there is a reason that Stevie Wonder and Ray Charles wore glasses and sang at the piano. Scott is obviously more comfortable behind the piano and he plays well, so hopefully he will ignore Paula-- the rest of us do.

Alexis Grace, "Jolene" by Dolly Parton- Alexis is one of my favorites from the beginning, but Brooke White just did this song last season, and frankly, Brooke's was better.

Lil Rounds, "Independence Day" by Martina McBride- I don't think the song was appropriate and was just a bad choice for her. She has crazy vocal skills and could have chosen a million other power ballads that would have shown those off. She didn't change it in any way and I just wasn't impressed.

Michael Sarver, "Ain't Going Down" by Garth Brooks- Always forgettable, Michael is the only real country contestant and therefore the only contestant doing an upbeat number. He was obviously having fun, but unfortunately, it did not stand out when compared moving mixes from the other contestants.

FYI...I love AI, but don't expect a review every week. I just wanted to weigh in at least once this season. I'm still crossing my fingers for an Aerosmith week.